E! The Fireband
by harrimaniac27
Summary: Johnny Gage can't play the bagpipes...can he? Chief McConnike is taking a bagpipe band to Colorado Springs for the Fireband gathering...who will go? And will Brice try to steal the show? (Based on the episode Musical Mania, and my experiences being in a pipe band. Just for fun.)


The Fireband CH 1

Roy lay in bed, becoming vaguely aware of the room around him. He was at the station...it was still dark, but a bit of light was showing through the windows...He decided that it must be about 0600, before the wake up tones were supposed to sound.

Roy sighed and closed his eyes, trying to get back to sleep...but suddenly, he heard a noise.

It sounded like it was coming from outside...a deep droning sort of sound...it went on for a moment; so long, in fact, that Roy decided he was imagining things and shut his eyes again.

Suddenly the sound changed. Roy opened his eyes in disbelief as he heard the first few notes to Amazing Grace accompanying the steady drone...played on what sounded like...bagpipes.

His first thought was, _Johnny? No...it can't be him, he's terrible at them.._.

He furrowed his brows. He sat up and stared at the bed next to his, expecting to see Johnny lying there, snoring like always...but he was gone.

Chet had woken up now and was looking at Johnny's empty bed as well. He looked up at Roy, and they shared a look of disbelief.

"Oh, no way..." Roy said, getting up and slipping his feet into his boots. Chet followed at his heels as he walked into the apparatus bay, the song becoming louder with each step they took.

The back bay door was open, and they approached it with caution as they listened to the song continuing.

Suddenly, Johnny walked past them, the bagpipes under his arm, hands working the chanter; He was playing Amazing Grace, all right...and well, at that!

Chet's jaw just about hit the floor.

Roy stood there astonished.

By now, Mike, Marco, and the Cap had heard him too and were standing behind Roy and Chet with their mouths agape.

Johnny played the song twice through before realising that his friends were standing there watching him. He quickly cut it off and held the pipes at his side, and he was so embarrassed that, even in the dim morning light, Roy could see it written all over his face.

"Sorry...I didn't mean to wake you guys up, I...uh...I just couldn't sleep...and I, well..sorry," he said sheepishly, holding the pipes in front if him and hanging his head. "I know you guys don't like them, so...I'll-"

The cap cut him off. "Well, that was before you could play them! Johnny...when you played Amazing Grace just now...that was incredible!"

Mike and Marco agreed.

Johnny looked up at them, his brows furrowed like he didn't believe them. "Really?" Then his expression softened a little and he smiled. "Really?"

The captain nodded and Mike and Marco burst into a round of applause.

Johnny's eyes lit up. "Well...wow! Thanks!" He took a little bow.

Chet finally picked his jaw up off the floor and spoke up, "You can't have just played that, Johnny, You sucked at those a week ago!"

Johnny sent a glance a the others and then wrinkled his nose at Chet. "Actually, Kelly, I was just doing that for _your_ 'benefit'. Do you really think I'd have spent so much money on them if I hadn't intended to _play _them?"

Chet scoffed. "They probably didn't even cost you that much!"

"Actually, Chester B, they cost me 1200 dollars!" Johnny said, holding the pipes to his chest possessively.

"What?!" said Chet. "Who would spend that much money on a crap instrument like that?!"

"For your information, _Kelly_-"

Mike, Marco and the Cap had sat back and watched the two bicker before the cap decided to step in.

"Where'd you get that much money, John?" Cap asked.

Johnny sent Chet a look before he focused his attention on the Cap. "I've been saving up for them for a year and a half, actually. I just got them back in June," Johnny said, looking down at them fondly.

"June? How hard are they to play?" Marco asked.

"Pretty hard, actually...I thought they'd be easy, but...boy, was I surprised!" Johnny said.

"Oh yeah, right! If no-talent Gage can play 'em, I'll bet you I can, too!" Chet said.

Johnny gave him a look. "I'd like to see you try," he laughed.

"Alright, gimme those things," Chet said, reaching out for them.

Johnny held them out of Chet's reach. "If you break these, Kelly, you'll owe me twice what I paid for them."

Chet retracted his hand. "Aw, now that's not fair!" he pouted.

The cap shrugged. "They are _his_, Chet. He can make whatever rules about them he wants...and that's actually a pretty fair rule, if you ask me. He spent an arm and a leg on them."

Chet frowned at the cap, but he stuck his hand out to Johnny again. "Alright, alright, I'll be careful with your _babies_, jeez. Just watch me."

Johnny gave Chet a doubting look before saying, "I bet you five bucks that you can't make one sound on your first try."

"Fine, you're on, just gimme the dang bagpipes."

Johnny gave Chet an evil lopsided grin and carefully handed over his pipes. "You're all witnesses to the bet," he said to the other firemen. They nodded and watched Chet put them under his arm. He fiddled with them for a minute, but the biggest drone kept falling off his shoulder.

Johnny snorted. "Alright, first of all, you're holding 'em wrong...they go under the other arm."

Chet sneered at him and switched arms. Johnny raised a brow.

"Hey, don't get sore at me, pally, I'm actually helpin' you out, here..." When Chet sent him another sneer, he said, "Alright, that's all the help you get," and folded his arms, leaning against the wall.

"I don't _need_ any more help!" Chet insisted. He put the blowpipe in his mouth and put his fingers over the holes on the chanter. He was about to blow into the blowpipe, but he was interrupted when Johnny nearly doubled over laughing.

"What _is_ it, Gage?" Chet asked, the blow pipe muffling his speech.

Johnny quickly contained himself. "Oh, nothing, carry on," he said. "You don't _need_ my help. Right?" He looked at the other four firemen, who nodded their heads.

Chet sent him a look and nodded too. "That's right," he said, putting the blowpipe back in his mouth.

Johnny tried not to laugh, but ended up snorting anyway. Chet spit out the blowpipe.

"Gage, could you please contain yourself? I'm trying to play, here."

Johnny laughed out loud. "Chet, they're _bagpipes_, nobody's stopping you!"

Chet grimaced at him, put the blowpipe back in his mouth and blew up the bag...at least, he tried to blow up the bag. He blew and blew...and blew until he was red in the face...and blew until he was blue in the face...but he couldn't make that monster make a sound! He blew harder, so hard that he ended up spitting out the blowpipe and stood there gasping for air. The drones whined a little, but calmed down right after.

"I believe that's five bucks," Johnny said, holding out his hands and looking at the other four firemen around him. They all nodded and smiled. "I think you're right, Johnny. I heard him agree to five bucks," said Marco. Roy, Mike and the cap agreed.

"Wait a minute!" Chet said, straightening up and setting the bag right again. "I was just warming up."

Johnny snickered. "Warming up, he says. Chet, If you can't make a sound this time, that's another five bucks."

Chet sent him a dirty look that made Mike and Marco laugh.

"Better quit while you're ahead, Kelly," the cap said.

Chet squared his shoulders and stuck the blowpipe back in his mouth.

"Stubborn, as always..." Roy muttered.

"Yeah, that's what I'm counting on," Johnny said aside to Roy. "Five bucks? It adds up quick."

Roy smiled at his partner and turned back to watch what Chet was going to do.

Chet took a few deep breaths before blowing into the bag. Again, the drones whined, but quieted almost immediately afterwards. Chet blew harder. The drones whined a little again, but Chet couldn't make them stay on. He blew harder and they whined again, louder this time, but he was so blue in the face, Johnny and Roy were starting to get a little worried.

Roy, stepped a little closer to Chet. "Uh, Chet...you can stop now, you don't need to prov-"

He was interrupted when Chet made the drones squawk, and then promptly spit out the blowpipe, gasping for air yet again.

"Damn!" he wheezed. "How do you get this octopus to make music?"

Johnny took his pipes back before Chet could say he wanted to try again.

"Maybe you ought to go and sit down," Johnny said, leading Chet over to the couch in the day room. "And I believe you owe me ten bucks."

Chet frowned up at Johnny. "Alright. What'd you do to them?"

Johnny furrowed his brows. "To what?"

"Don't play dumb on me here, Gage! If you can play them, how come I can't play them?"

Johnny gave him a grin. "You have no clue how to play them, Chet! You don't even know how they work! I've been playing them for four months now."

The captain sat down next to Chet.

"You'd better accept defeat, pally, or he might torture us with those things again."

"Yeah, yeah..." Chet scowled and stuck a hand in his pocket to get his wallet. He got out two fivers and gave them to Johnny, who grinned.

"It was a pleasure doing business with ya."

Chet gave him a murderous look. "Don't press your luck, Gage."

"Alright, that's enough," the captain said.

Suddenly, Mike piped up from behind Johnny. "So, Johnny, why the bagpipes?"

Johnny sat down and laid the pipes on his lap.

"Well, see...there's this big gathering in Colorado Springs every year...just for bagpipers, but not only is it just for bagpipers, it's just for firemen who play the bagpipes. Every year, they've got about 200 pipers marching and playing at the same time! It's incredible!"

"Oh, so that's why you went to Colorado Springs on your vacation last year!" Marco said.

"Yeah," Chet said sarcastically. "We just thought you were crazy."

Johnny sent Chet a disapproving look and continued. "Yeah, it is. Chief McConnike is the one who invited me...I didn't really want to go, but I went when I heard Carter's sister was gonna be there-"

Four firemen groaned. Everyone except Mike.

"What!?" Johnny said. "I like her! She's a great gal!"

"Don't tell me the ice princess let you score," Chet said.

Johnny rolled his eyes. "Jeez, what kind of a guy do you think I am? I didn't even try to score with her!"

"Oh, come on, Johnny, her knockers are notorious throughout the department for being some of the biggest in the county! Don't feed me that load of crap..."

"Ok! So maybe I _looked_, but she's taken now, Chet, so I didn't lay a finger on her!"

Five heads turned to stare at Johnny.

"Taken? Who melted her cold feet?" Marco asked.

Johnny raised his brows and gave everyone a matter-of-fact look. "You guys aren't gonna believe this."

There was a pause.

"Well, Lay it on us, Johnny."

Johnny sighed. "...Craig Brice."

There was a collective groan of dismay as everyone covered their faces.

"That's disgusting..." said Mike.

"I feel like I've been kicked," said Marco.

"How'd Mr. Rulebook land a chick like Katy?"

"Don't ask me how it happened! I only know that they were really chummy last time I saw them together."

Chet looked up, with what looked like hope glimmering in his eyes. "How looking ago was that?"

Johnny gave gave Chet an apologetic look. "Three days ago."

More groans.

The captain sighed. "Well," he began, but he was cut off by the blare of the call alarm.

"Squad 51, difficulty breathing. 1224 West Belmont. 1-2-2-4 West Belmont. Cross street Kaltenga, time out 11:46."

Johnny, Roy and the cap leapt to their feet and ran out to the apparatus bay. Johnny handed his pipes to the captain before getting in the truck, and the captain walked over to answer the call.

"Squad 51, KMG 365."

The squad pulled out of the bay and into the crisp morning air with her lights flashing and sirens wailing.


End file.
